Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Upstarts vs Chameleons Match Commentary by Phil Trussell
12pm, 15 minutes to kick off and our team consisted of Phil, Podge and Gary, who was only there because he was umpiring the game before. Podge had been really good the previous night, only drinking 23 beers at the squash club do, as he thought he might be in goals as we weren't sure if Kev could make it.
12.05pm, by now the 47 Chameleons players were doing co-ordinated star jumps, sideways jogging across the pitch and 4 vs 4 warm up games. Our ranks had swollen to 5. Jon Brunson arrived with a stick (good start) and an old style shirt. Kev also arrived with all his gear, and Podge looked a little miffed thinking about all those extra beers he could have drank last night had he known.
12.10pm, Chameleons now had 53 players, and had completed three white board sessions, were sprinting lengthways along the pitch, signing autographs and doing more star jumps. The 7 Upstarts players were standing randomly in the sun waiting for Podge to retrieve the warm up ball from the car park. Meanwhile the nice girl at the table asked us if we wanted to play a friendly and borrow some Chameleons, as 'they seem to have one or two spare.'
12.15pm, Another 12 Chameleons players had arrived in the last 5 minutes, and were listening attentively in a huddle to an emotional and inspiring team talk. The 10 Upstarts players were standing about listening to Gary saying 'Where the f*cks Kaniaru?'
12.20pm, Kick off. Watched by the newly crowned Panthers players from the touchline, the game got under way. What can I say. Podge, Neil and Jon Brunson were stunning from the outset playing wide midfield roles. (Only two of them were supposed to be playing there, but it seemed to be working). Donny had kindly agreed to play at the back as Keir had to stay at work to do some sums. And what a game Donny had, along with co-defenders Rob, Adrian and Dave K, who had amazing joined the match from somewhere..............I never saw him arrive?
10 minutes gone and we were ahead, after missing a sitter after 5 minutes, Phil managed to put one away and again after a brilliant through ball from Gary. 2-0 up and we weren't even trying. Chameleons started rotating some of their 65 players, but to no avail - they couldn't get near the ball. Gary and Kirk ruled the midfield and we were playing like the champions we used to be. This carried on for most of the first half until Chameleons got a very dodgy short corner and managed to spawn a goal from it. We weren't worried though, going into the break 2-1 up and barely having broken sweat.
At half time the Chameleons had flown in a motivational speaker from New York, who was hurriedly coaching them on their star jump technique. Upstarts were sort of sitting around trying to figure out how Kaniaru sneaked onto the pitch.
Second half and we were quickly on the scoresheet. Yes folks, after 87 attempts all season, we scored from a short corner. What a goal, Kirk bounced it out from the line, Gary stopped it at waist height and expertly returned it to Kirk, who blasted it into the goal. We looked at the umpire expecting it to be disallowed under rule 34f or something. But no, it stood, this was getting to be fun. Our never practiced short corner routines were starting to work.
Chameleons continued to rotate their rotations, and we just got better. The back five were solid as a rock, Kev was keeping out the few shots that got through with ease, Donny was blasting clearances out of defence into the middle of next week. Dave K, Rob and Adrian were tackling for fun. Neil and Jon were running up and down the wings for fun, and Gary was doing his usual tricks in the middle. Phil was by now standing in the Chameleons D with a torn hamstring, goal hanging like Donny at his best. Podge was having his own private game of hurling and loving every minute of it.
Another goal, Gary beat 7 Chameleons players (including the same one three times, and himself twice) and passed it back for Phil to knock in. Same again 5 minutes later to make it 5-1. Chameleons had stopped speaking to each other at this stage and decided to put all 10 outfield players on Gary. This gave the rest of us a bit of a breather. Somehow, they spawned another decision and got a penalty flick. 'Why bother?' we all thought as we had Kev the Cat in nets. Sure enough, a masterful save and more Chameleons tantrums.
We took the foot off the gas and somehow let them score to make it 5-2. I don't remember this goal at all. Who cares. With the clock showing about 10 minutes to play, up stormed Kirk again and got a real poachers goal out of nothing. That was the final score 6-2. The Chameleons didn't know what had hit them. At the start they looked like a talented, hard working, organised international hockey team. At the start we looked like a bunch of unfit, overweight, elderly amateurs without a watch between them. In reality though, we're a bunch of unfit, overweight, elderly amateurs who when we put our mind to it, really aren't that bad at hockey. (Apologies to the youngsters of the team).
Fair play to Chameleons, they were good sports, cheering and congratulating us at the end of what was a very enjoyable game. 6-2 to the Upstarts!
Roll on the cup.
Phil
12.05pm, by now the 47 Chameleons players were doing co-ordinated star jumps, sideways jogging across the pitch and 4 vs 4 warm up games. Our ranks had swollen to 5. Jon Brunson arrived with a stick (good start) and an old style shirt. Kev also arrived with all his gear, and Podge looked a little miffed thinking about all those extra beers he could have drank last night had he known.
12.10pm, Chameleons now had 53 players, and had completed three white board sessions, were sprinting lengthways along the pitch, signing autographs and doing more star jumps. The 7 Upstarts players were standing randomly in the sun waiting for Podge to retrieve the warm up ball from the car park. Meanwhile the nice girl at the table asked us if we wanted to play a friendly and borrow some Chameleons, as 'they seem to have one or two spare.'
12.15pm, Another 12 Chameleons players had arrived in the last 5 minutes, and were listening attentively in a huddle to an emotional and inspiring team talk. The 10 Upstarts players were standing about listening to Gary saying 'Where the f*cks Kaniaru?'
12.20pm, Kick off. Watched by the newly crowned Panthers players from the touchline, the game got under way. What can I say. Podge, Neil and Jon Brunson were stunning from the outset playing wide midfield roles. (Only two of them were supposed to be playing there, but it seemed to be working). Donny had kindly agreed to play at the back as Keir had to stay at work to do some sums. And what a game Donny had, along with co-defenders Rob, Adrian and Dave K, who had amazing joined the match from somewhere..............I never saw him arrive?
10 minutes gone and we were ahead, after missing a sitter after 5 minutes, Phil managed to put one away and again after a brilliant through ball from Gary. 2-0 up and we weren't even trying. Chameleons started rotating some of their 65 players, but to no avail - they couldn't get near the ball. Gary and Kirk ruled the midfield and we were playing like the champions we used to be. This carried on for most of the first half until Chameleons got a very dodgy short corner and managed to spawn a goal from it. We weren't worried though, going into the break 2-1 up and barely having broken sweat.
At half time the Chameleons had flown in a motivational speaker from New York, who was hurriedly coaching them on their star jump technique. Upstarts were sort of sitting around trying to figure out how Kaniaru sneaked onto the pitch.
Second half and we were quickly on the scoresheet. Yes folks, after 87 attempts all season, we scored from a short corner. What a goal, Kirk bounced it out from the line, Gary stopped it at waist height and expertly returned it to Kirk, who blasted it into the goal. We looked at the umpire expecting it to be disallowed under rule 34f or something. But no, it stood, this was getting to be fun. Our never practiced short corner routines were starting to work.
Chameleons continued to rotate their rotations, and we just got better. The back five were solid as a rock, Kev was keeping out the few shots that got through with ease, Donny was blasting clearances out of defence into the middle of next week. Dave K, Rob and Adrian were tackling for fun. Neil and Jon were running up and down the wings for fun, and Gary was doing his usual tricks in the middle. Phil was by now standing in the Chameleons D with a torn hamstring, goal hanging like Donny at his best. Podge was having his own private game of hurling and loving every minute of it.
Another goal, Gary beat 7 Chameleons players (including the same one three times, and himself twice) and passed it back for Phil to knock in. Same again 5 minutes later to make it 5-1. Chameleons had stopped speaking to each other at this stage and decided to put all 10 outfield players on Gary. This gave the rest of us a bit of a breather. Somehow, they spawned another decision and got a penalty flick. 'Why bother?' we all thought as we had Kev the Cat in nets. Sure enough, a masterful save and more Chameleons tantrums.
We took the foot off the gas and somehow let them score to make it 5-2. I don't remember this goal at all. Who cares. With the clock showing about 10 minutes to play, up stormed Kirk again and got a real poachers goal out of nothing. That was the final score 6-2. The Chameleons didn't know what had hit them. At the start they looked like a talented, hard working, organised international hockey team. At the start we looked like a bunch of unfit, overweight, elderly amateurs without a watch between them. In reality though, we're a bunch of unfit, overweight, elderly amateurs who when we put our mind to it, really aren't that bad at hockey. (Apologies to the youngsters of the team).
Fair play to Chameleons, they were good sports, cheering and congratulating us at the end of what was a very enjoyable game. 6-2 to the Upstarts!
Roll on the cup.
Phil
Monday, April 2, 2007
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